Change, I am for it

On a beautiful Sunday morning while I was attending the Second Annual Malaysian Student Leaders Summit at Kuala Lumpur, the phone in front of me vibrated. I picked it up and read the text which appeared to be from the Chairman of the Chinese community of my parish, Eddie.

It read, “Last nite meeting adopted our 3rd plan, u be acting president til next election, the group will continue to support you. Have courage n strength, cos our lord even died for us to make us trust in him.”

(Don’t correct my English, it wasn’t mine afterall. Not many uses proper English while texting except Daniel.)

My guts and sixth sense has been telling me this way before the meeting was held. I knew the outcome afterall prior to the meeting. I just knew it. Though I prayed to God not to let this happen, it seems that God has not been kind enough to spare me from this deep shit. He’s probably kicking my arse hard enough.

Even as I write this piece, I have two very distinct feelings. While my doubt seems to overshadow my faith, at the same time humbleness overwhelms the pride. The point I want to bring out is that I have the confidence but I do not know how to start, one thing for sure I will not let my ego get to the point that I think I am a superstar.

Most know that students have their fair share of stress when it comes to dealing with their studies. Being a student, now I not only have to mingle with my studies but also fixing my eyes on this community which is made up of youths, undergraduates, working adults and families. There goes the double stress that I in my capacity as a young adult will try to face.

Perhaps the Lord has been moulding me all these while. During my student years I have held various positions in several different student organisations including Professional Engineering Leadership Teamwork and Awareness Camp (Deputy Director) and Chinese Cultural Expo (Secretary) and Mandarin Care Group (committee member). So, I think it is safe to say, that I have had a fair share in organizing and managing. Things and people may be different for now but the fundamental is there.

This call of mine to serve Him in the community has its purpose, more so at least I think there is. I beg to differ when some opinionated that this is all about picking the shit left by Eddie. What others see as shit, I see gold. What others see as troubles, I see opportunity to learn. What others see as labouring, I see it as serving Him. A leader has to be in many ways develop a sense of positiveness in them before they even trying to lead.

I do this because it is right, not because it is for my resume. I am sure in their minds, these people need someone progressive, to a certain extent they want some changes for good. Not that my predecessors were not good, they did extremely well because they were the ones who built this community of Catholics up. They were the ones who started gathering Catholics staying around the area. For these, they have my respect.

What I have in mind, at least for now, is that I find that it is time to spice up some hidden agenda which have not brought to light. I shall try in my capacity to do something good, not for the sake of my popularity but for the betterment of this community.

Well I can only assume that I know how to manage my time, energy well. A stinging reminder I hold now is that I will always remember this phrase: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - Reinhold Niebuhr

To know my feelings, at least I think I write this post with all my feelings, you have to read this wonderful story from 1 Kings 3: 5-14. Not that I compare myself to the wise Solomon but the position that I am in now is very much alike the young Solomon.

My prayer will be, “O LORD, my God, you have made me, your servant, someone to succeed the Chairman; but I am a mere youth, not knowing at all how to act. I serve you in the midst of the people whom you have chosen. Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong. For who is able to govern this people of yours?”

Friends (and bloggers), and my secondary family (church community) here, I need your support and love very much. Do not leave me alone to deal with all these. Depriving me from your love and support might as well be translated that I am near death.

Mum and Dad, I have yet to tell you this news fearing that you may oppose what I am doing. Rest assure that I am strong enough to deal with this. I hope the two of you will understand one day that this is a golden time for me to learn how to grow up to become a good wise man.

PS: I think I want to talk about LOVE and the criteria I am looking in a girl (true love) in this big big world.

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