Finding God in all things - Day 1

This is the first time I set foot to Loyola Jesuit Novitiate which is situated in the high-end neighbourhood area in the heart of Singapore. In fact this is the first time I experience the way the Jesuits live – simple yet lively.

Br Alvin Ng and Br Mark Aloysius, both Sarawakians, gave Simon and me a ride from Johor Bahru all the way across the Causeway to Singapore. On our way to the Novitiate, we asked the two brothers a lot of question. I remember I asked them how Fr. Philip Heng looks like, whether is he fierce and old or young and nice. They told me that all Jesuits look young, which turned out to be quite true. Fr Philip Heng is the Novice Master, meaning he is shepherding his subordinates in the Novitiate.

The queue to pass the two Immigration offices was not that long; it took us half-and-hour to get into Singapore. I could not contact others nor be contacted by others when I was in the city state, mainly because I forgot to call up my telco to activate the roaming services. In fact, I am still glad I did not do that. I would not be able to enjoy the serenity and the peaceful time in the Novitiate with those bugging texts and calls.

Upon entering the Novitiate, we were greeted by Fr. Philip Heng and a few of the novices (Julio and Sylvestre from East Timor). Breakfast was served and we had coffee to go with the bread. Then I climbed up the winding stairs to my room. In the room, there is only one wooden bed, one wooden table, one plastic chair and one wooden cupboard. There was a Crucifix hanging on top of the door. Looking out of the window is the Garden of Light, a beautiful garden with pine trees and palm trees standing tall and straight.

We were invited for lunch with all other participants. After Fr Philip blessed the food I quickly grabbed the plates and got myself some food as I was rather hungry. By the time it was 230pm, we were all ushered to the hall. The journey then begun with Fr Philip welcoming all of us and we were given an “Introduction of Vocation Weekend” as well as why this Vocation Camp was here in the first place.

One thing for sure, the Jesuits are somewhat different. I think their spirituality and way of life is attractive in the sense that they look just like a normal person (they are one of the few religious who do have a formal habit). Perhaps that’s the reason why we were able to get close to them. I forgot to stress that this Vocation Camp is not about calling us to become a priest or religious brother, but more of a camp to provide us an insight about how to better know God’s will for us in this world!

There was this exercise called “Greater Self-Awareness” introduced by Sch Adrian Danker. In this exercise, we were asked to look into our present, our past and what we expect of our future. We were told to think of what makes/made/will make us happy and sad, what moves/moved/will moved us and who I am/was/will be in those three very distinct time. I chose three spots for this exercise – two spots (past and present) were located along the corridor while the car park was my future.

I reflected on my past and gave a thought on what I want to become in the future. I feel that I wanted something deeper in life that money cannot buy, but I am not very sure what I am searching. If I could describe the three spots that I have chosen, the corridor resembles the life that was conditioned by the people around me and my environment. On the other hand, the car park being an open space represents the future which is so full of possibilities. I could choose to walk straight or turn left or turn right, yet wherever I turned to it’s still a car park. I need God in my life to lead me to the way that He wants and not so much of the way I want.

The exercise was too short, but it gives me a better understanding of myself. I know what makes me happy and sad. We then were divided into smaller groups for discussion. In my group, we have Br Alvin as the moderator, Julio the novice, Ambrose, Victor and me as the participants. We shared our thoughts and experiences in the abovementioned exercises. It was simply great to share our own story. Since we promised to keep whatever being shared to be confined among the five of us, so shall it be.

Things will happen in His due time. What matters is that I give my best, my all for things to happen
-Br Richie Fernando, SJ

We then witness the life of an ordinary man who cared for those who lost their body parts in the landmine of Cambodia. Br Richie Fernando was the man who showed us what “Deeper Meaning in Life” means. There is no greater love than to sacrifice his life for others. He taught me this simple message:

“I wish, when I die, people remember not how great, powerful, or talented I was, but that I served and spoke for the truth, I gave witness to what is right, I was sincere in all my works and actions, in other words, I loved and I followed Christ.” adapted from Jesuit Mission

A few dropped of tears as managed to leap out from my eyes as the commentary was played.

We then had our own free time to spend on silent reflection but I took the 30 minutes for a short nap. I don’t feel guilty for that because I was simply tired and I knew I needed some sleep so as to be more attentive to the programs at night.

Fr Colin Tan, SJ then celebrated the Eucharist. We sung Come As You Are, Ave Maria and You Are Mine as the hymn for this mass. Dinner was served after the Eucharist and we played a game called “Pictionary”.

We then proceed with the next session. The theme was “God’s Involvement in my life & What is our Personal Response”? God created this world beautiful enough for human to stay. Human today are just too busy about finding more money and materials for their own satisfaction, I am one of them. From this short presentation slides, I think I need to ask myself this question, “How can I make a simple difference in the little things I do each day and how can I be more attentive to what He is calling me to do”. It would be silly of you to think that God is only calling those religious; he is calling us as well – the normal people.

At this point, I need to clarify that I am open to understand more about the marriage and religious vocation. All that I have written is just my experience and thoughts, it does not indicate any inclination yet, so please do not, do not ever try to put your label on me.

Fr Philip then introduced us the Consciousness “Examen” Prayer which was one of the important prayers introduced by St Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesuit. St Ignatius believed that he received a gift from God that not only enriched his own Christian life but was meant to be shared with others. The gift was a “method,” a way to seek and find God in all things and to gain the freedom to let God’s will be done on earth. This way of praying allowed Ignatius to discover the voice of God within his own heart and to experience a growth in familiarity with God’s will. Just as the Jesuit has shared with us this prayer, so shall I share with you this Examen of Consciousness prayer.

That’s basically the first day of the Vocation Camp. More to cover in the next post, stay tune.

This is how the Catholic Church of St Ignatius looks like.